Safe is a relative term. Your safety is a tertiary priority at TITS, and we will always make a good faith effort to insure your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. The technologies used in a number of our attractions are not yet fully understood by science, so we can’t make any promises.
(Don’t forget to sign your release of liability waiver!)
Transcosmic Interdimensional Travel Services is the world's premier provider of Interdimensional Adventure Services(TM)
Turning you on turns us on!
When you go on an Interdimensional Adventure(TM), your body usually just stays right where it is.
Where your consciousness/soul/astral projection travels to, and what it experiences is ultimately something that only you can know...
Exotic Exotech is a pioneering private technology company that definitely, absolutely, and unequivocally has NOTHING at all to do with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). No affiliation, overlapping IP, capital contributions or funding relationship is involved, of any sort. For real.
We all remember the 24 hours of terror and orgiastic abandon when the city-sized alien spaceship hung in the sky over the Pacific Ocean. After getting nuked by Donald Trump's fledgling US Space Force and splashing into the sea, it was determined to have been uninhabited. Some of its technology has been retrieved, however, and has been extensively studied and tested by the United States Space Force Advanced Research Institute.
The Portal Puddle represents the world's first successful commercial application of alien technologies.
(TITS salutes the millions of human patriots who gave their lives in the defense of our homeworld. A portion of all proceeds go to help victims of the tsunamis and the survivors of radiation poisoning!)
You can always expect a warm and bouncy welcome at TITS, where you’ll be treated like a bosom buddy! Upon arrival, please proceed directly to check in. After making sure that all paperwork is all in order, you will be screen by Astral Security Services with an ASS W.I.P.E. to scan for interdimensional parasites and other psychic safety risk factors. ASS agents will pat you down, feel you up, and relieve you of any excess emotional baggage that you may be carrying (along with shoes, phone, money, drugs, and underwear).
Copyright © 2019 Transcosmic Interdimensional Travel Services - All Rights Reserved.